Evan Williams

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Pixar has the other thing. There’s no name for it. It’s the missing tool in every piece of IKEA furniture, that if you found it, wouldnt do anything for your couch but it would change your life. It’s Pixar’s party trick. They’ll be hanging at a get together. Dreamworks does a keg stand. Illumination tells a funny story. And then Pixar humbly steps out of a shadow, puts out a cigarette, and says “That vacation you’re saving up for won’t match the vacation waiting at home in your loved ones”. And then everyone cries and goes home. This one’s about brotherly love. I lost my brother. But more importantly I had a brother. He was amazing and brilliant and funny and taught me everything about being a good person and a good friend. And video games. Pixar not only gave me a fun movie about mythical creatures living like normal people because they’ve forgotten their magic, but they gave me a therapy session. The bastards. I cried. I called my dad and told him I love him. You ever seen a movie so good you called your dad? Haha. Fuck, man. I’m not telling you this movie will do the same for you because Pixar hits a different point every time. Maybe you’re a Good Dinosaur guy. I’m an Onward guy. It was special.

Ryan Reynolds wants you to stay home

Look I’m sorry but I can’t stop thinking about him. #TigerKing

Garages are no longer safe, I’m coming for all of them.

I spent my weekend celebrating my buddy “Bear” with our mutual friends and his family, and let me tell ya. Rednecks know how to send someone off. Haitians do a 9-day social event that ends in a ritual and the Irish get extremely drunk and both of those are valid. But these beautiful people all gathered around the mother’s house and told stories. Lots of them. I think I fell over from laughing at one point. Then we shot off hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks (absolutely illegal ones) and blasted FSU’s war chant (his favorite college team) on repeat on a speaker. It was tribal and we hollered into the night and lit up the sky until all that was left was sparklers. So we burned those too. And then the family huddled around each other. We ate cake and I hugged each and every one of them and told them I loved them and that we’re family now. If there’s a better way to celebrate someone then let me know but I’m gonna disagree. And loudly debate you. Just like Bear would.

Moon’s out Goons out

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